It truly is a different world now then when I was a young teenager. Even as up to date as I am with technology and social media/apps there is more out there that I truly do not understand nor want to care to know about. However, at the same time I do have to care. I have to put in an effort to learn a little bit about all these different apps that are being made for young kids and teenagers to get involved with. With 3 kids, well actually to be technical, step-kiddos, I have to be aware and know what I can, so we can monitor them correctly. Now even though I didn't birth them, I still care about them, and my significant other and I like to be involved and know what they are doing.
When the time came, which it does and will, we decided between the two of us how we were going to handle the situation. When the phones were given to the 2 eldest we made sure to lay out the rules and expectations. Specifically things like no social media; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat are the top few but there are some apps that even I don't know about. No girls/boys numbers unless we talk and discuss this, downloading of games are at a minimum and we set restrictions for times that the phone can be used and not used. We eventually allowed them to get some social media apps and we still placed rules with those apps.
As much as you want to trust your children and think they are going to follow through with the rules you can't help but know they may slip up. You also can't control all the other kids and people out there who do have those same apps. We all were kids and we tested the boundaries, after all that is what kids are supposed to do. We as parents have jobs/roles to steer them into the right direction and remind them of the rules, as well as, protect them. Whether you decided to take away the device, give a warning, or not say anything, is totally your decision as a parent when rules are broken. It is tough though, it's already a never-ending task being a parent but now there are other things that we have to worry about. If you choose, adding social media monitoring is just another thing being added into the mix!
Social media really can become a problem, if it isn't monitored. It can become a distraction at school and home and things such as relationships, inappropriate content or interaction can happen too. Other things like bullying and possibly exposing themselves in a not so positive way can occur. This is why I think its very important that we explain to our kids what it means when they post something and setting the boundaries with the devices/social medias. Whether it be a picture or post, a sent text or email, or comment, once its out there it's gone! Yea sure they truly believe it disappears if they delete it, but it doesn't, its out there in the lovely cyber world. Now it makes me wonder where all the "snapchat" images/videos go? LOL
So the title of this article says: "is it okay to spy on your kids when it comes to social media?" I say yes it is, and no it's not spying its called parenting. You should be monitoring what your kids are doing on their social media, who they are communicating with and what they are downloading on their (well yours-since you do pay for it LOL) phones. It's not easy, but it is important. I don't think its necessary to tell them exactly when we will be checking in on them. However, letting them know ahead of time "hey, we will be monitoring you" is plenty of a heads up, can't say we didn't warn them. I'm not gonna lie, I think part of the problem today is too many parents are distracted with their own devices, would rather be a friend than a parent, and honestly might be too tired. (it is a lot of energy to keep up and double check) Part of the problem too is that it seems so non-threatening, oh its just the internet, or my kid won't talk to people they don't know. Not so much, you'd be surprised. It is very important and it can be dangerous if use isn't monitored.
The purpose of this post was one to let parents/step-parents, guardians, etc, know that it's OKAY to "spy" and know what your kids are up to. It's not gonna be easy, but it's our jobs as parents to protect and help steer our kids in the right direction. Hey, when they are 18 they can do whatever, well not whatever I hope, but you catch my drift. We only have so long to shape and mold our kids into who we hope they become as adults. We still want them to grow up with the morals and values that we instill in them, but allow them, once they've reached a certain age, to grow and blossom into their own person. They may make mistakes as they grow up, thats okay, it's the end result that matters. What good do we do our children and are we, if we don't make sure our kids have a good foundation of morals and values. We don't want something they did when they were young to come back and haunt them as adults in the future. This is one of the many reasons why it is important to monitor them, making sure they are doing the right thing.
As far as reading text messages, emails, or messages, I feel that maybe at a certain age you can give them their privacy. You should know who their friends are and what their number/social medias are. I say this because if you know who they are talking to when someone you don't know comes around you flag it and say wait a minute who are you and why are you talking to my child. At that point I do feel it necessary and important you talk and ask you child/teen who this person is and how do you know them? If your child is younger than 15 I would say, you can make that decision yourself, then yes, maybe some won't agree, but you do need to read what your child is messaging and saying. You should want to know. My parents used to tell me, "I'm not your friend, I am your Parent" and that didn't mean I couldn't tell them things or have fun with them. What they meant was, I'm not going to allow you to just do whatever and not care, I am going to make sure you follow rules, do the right thing and are acting appropriately. Better them cry than you and better them hate you now rather than later. Trust me as they get older, they will remember and be happy they had rules and boundaries, as well as, parent/s that cared.
What rules/boundaries do you set with social media/electronics with your kids or what would you say some of your challenges are with social media and monitoring your kid/s?
